Confirmation that I am not, nor have I ever been, deceased -in case anyone was wondering

Greetings, once again, literate internet populous!

Having journeyed to the far off land of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, yet only visiting one principality, I have returned to the Land of the Long White Cloud with Other Clouds of Various Lengths and Colours Nearby. I have, in fact, been back since mid-April. The adventure was a grand one yet I am unable to share details due to the unwritten confidentiality act of 'what goes on tour stays on tour' however it involved unwittingly calling Lawrence Delaglio a girl.

The past few weeks have been somewhat unexciting with the exception of my attempt to get away with breaking the law of gravity. The short story is that in the dark instead of being careful I stepped on a step which wasn't there. Rather than damage my face I sacrificed my wrist; a decision I am lately coming to regret as I have been operating on one arm for almost four weeks now. Initially I was lugging around the weight of the cement aisle at your local Bunnings Warehouse, luckily this has now been exchanged for a splint which weighs far less although is less menacing when threatening co-workers who are eyeing up my lunch. I am seeing an orthopedic surgeon and have had an MRI scan to determine where we go from here, hopefully not somewhere which requires hitch hiking whilst my thumb is locked in position. Anyway due to my attempt to flout the international physics treaty, for which the punishment is a dent to your wrist and your pride, I have been getting a high volume of questions pertaining to my sobriety and my general ability to remain upright.

The break has, overall, healed very well although a number of people have asked whether it was the direct result of missing a deadline or target at work. I shall simply say it is not necessarily a coincidence that my first day in plaster coincided with a visit from a feisty, foreign member of the store support team. Whilst I technically no longer have to wear the gauntlet she tends to find her point is generally made better by pointing at my arm and reminding people they neglected to file their paperwork.

I shall leave this post short as I have much to discuss next time around. I recommend you have popcorn at the ready in preparation for the next installment.

Sidebar
Again I feel it necessary to point out there was no chicken available on the flight home either. I'm starting to think this is being done deliberately.